This is an entry from Katy’s dairy, transcribed more or less word for word. It’s about her mother Marianne, who was in psychiatric care –

June 6th 

I called mum today on her mobile but she didn’t answer, so I called the social services in ———shire where she lives. They said they couldn’t disclose anything. I started crying and said is my mum ok. The receptionist went quiet and said she’d have to ask her supervisor. After a lot of fuss they gave me a phone number for the house where she’s been placed [technically this is not allowed, but I’m guessing that as Katy was so distressed they caved in]. I called the house and a social worker answered, I said I was Marianne’s daughter Katy. The social worker said : Marianne your daughter is on the line. I heard shuffling and bits of talking in the background then the social worker came back on to say that Marianne wasn’t there but she would call back if I left a number. I gave her my mobile no and Fraser’s landline at the flat. I waited in that evening but she didn’t call. Fraser said: what’s up babe. But I didn’t want to talk to him about it. We ordered Vietnamese food but I wasn’t hungry. My call time tomorrow is 7am, so I went to pack my stuff for the next day. Lots of props and costume stuff is stored at Fraser’s flat and he got angry with me about the clutter. He said I could stay at his other place downtown because he needs the space. He has to work in the evenings. Why do guys want to be alone so much, but then when they want you there you have to turn up? 

I think about breaking up with him, but I have no where else to go at the moment so I guess I will have to put up with him. I helped him pick out some furniture and paint for his flats and so he ‘lent’ me $500. This will do for now. But I need to find a bar job or something. I can’t keep borrowing money from Fraser. He is such a control freak that I feel like he owns me now. 

I emailed my dad. He’s not replied. I think he is ok. Had an email from Cara. She is a stuck up cow and probably just wants to gossip about me with Kathleen and Yasmin [ouch!!].

The sketch above is by Connie: Worthless


8 thoughts on “Abandonment

  1. If she is referring to the e-mail you shared in a previous post, I would have been suspicious of your motives, also. People don’t normally share in an email, like you did, that someone is a “bitch” and you only tolerate that someone (Kathleen) because she is your roommate’s (Yasmin’s) friend.

    “If it’s any consolation, I think she’s a bitch. I only hang out with her because she’s best-friends with my flatmate Yasmin.” ~ from Substitute for Mother

    I’m not agreeing with her assessment of you; I don’t know you. I’m simply giving you a reason why she may have had that type of reaction to your e-mail. 🙂

    • Yeah, to be fair, I think I didn’t handle the situation very well. I was trying to network with all sorts of very ambitious people (such as Kathleen) but it was getting in the way of more genuine friendships.

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