Parcels from Tijuana

It was the end of June. I had a busy-ish day in the office. I was feeling tired after too many late nights. I couldn’t concentrate on any of my real work, so I spent most of the morning tidying my desk. Organising paperclips and staples into different pots, and throwing out bits of old paperwork. I have to say, I felt better for it. Annalika came back in to sort out some invoices. We had sold several of her pictures, and she was keen to make sure all the payments go through. She does have an accountant, but she does her own management. She’s really on the ball. She’s actually a bit short sighted so she has to wear these specs for meetings which make her look like a dork. Porsche-guy says it just makes her hotter, like a sexy school teacher. Yuk.

“I met this girl last night who says she knows you,” said Annalika to me,

“Oh,” I said, not managing to hide my surprise that I may be connected to her,

“Yes, Katy Charleston,” she said,

“Oh,” said me and Gina,

“Yeah, I was at this party, some city guy, lots of free drinks, great time,” said Annalika, “don’t remember his name, I went there from another party, it was late. I remember her because she was English, really cute.”

Why do Americans always find English girls cute. It’s so patronising.

That evening, I slobbed out at home.

This is one of Katy’s diary excerpts from around that time –

June 20th

I feel weird about last night, trying not to think about it too much. Met up with Fraser’s friend about some work. He also said he could get me some more meds from TJ*. He is a businessman who owns several bars in the city. I asked him a bit about what he does. He wants us to get together on Thursday about redecorating a bar. 

Weird. I met him on Thursday, he had already pretty much decided what he wanted doing at the bar. Just lots of antique-look wood. Had already chosen a building firm and bought supplies. I think he just wants me to supervise. Not sure. 

Fraser and I are on-off at the moment, but he still lets me stay at the spare apartment. I expect he will want to kick me out at some point so he can get a paying tenant. But it will do for now. I need to find a nicer boyfriend. Someone kind who will look after me, and not expect things in return. 

I take too many pills. I want to come off them, but I’m afraid of how I will feel. I can just about get through the day, and be nice to Fraser and his friends in the evenings. Also, Fraser never wants to see me before eight pm, and doesn’t like me to sleep over, in case he has an early start. He always sends me home in a cab, and pays for it, he is generous. But I feel a bit crap about it. Like we are only seeing each other for sex. 

[*Tijuana I think she means, unless they knew a dealer called TJ.]

Image: Despair by Connie


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