I mentioned in a pervious post that Katy’s family had been fairly liberal. I suppose they may have been nominally Anglican at some point, but they were basically a modern secular family. This meant that Katy grew up without any neurosis about sex and relationships.
As I said, I got the impression from Gina that Katy’s set had been quite promiscuous at Uni. I’d always wondered if girls regret this later on. That evening, at the club, when Katy was really drunk, she said some stuff about her mum-
“I kind of wish my mum had been more strict with me, I slept with lots of guys, and she never said anything. After Giles dumped me I went with loads of guys, maybe to get back at him, and I just wanted to have a good time, also get him out of my system. Mum knew I was sleeping around but she didn’t really say anything. I felt like she didn’t care.” etc
This surprised me. I’d always always seen liberal households as an unobtainable dream, a thing of envy. A house where you were not judged on your budding sexuality, and where parents spoke freely to their kids about the practicalities of contraception, and the ins and outs of relationships. I thought Katy had been happy growing up with a cool mum, who didn’t mind if her boyfriends slept over. Obviously not. I have to admit that at the time, I was a bit judgemental. I thought it was a bit pathetic, and possibly a bit freudian that Katy blamed her promiscuity on her mum.
This is a very short diary entry from around that time. I couldn’t quite work out what Katy means here –
Been cheering myself up with some shopping today. Went to Prada and Margiela, also got some Jbrand jeans. Feel a bit better.
It’s nice to have some money. I feel a bit weird about it. But then lots of people have money for doing fuck all.
I didn’t want to jump to conclusions, but a tiny, uncharitable part of me suspected Katy might have been selling drugs. Not on any kind of scale, but just as one of those people you sometimes meet at parties who knows people and can get you stuff. Between her movie contacts, Fraser’s friends, and the fact that she was out almost every night, she was quite well connected. It wasn’t impossible that she was selling on some of her meds from Tijuana to desperate New Yorkers needing a few downers. I am not judging Katy for this. She was stranded in NY with no cash. I can’t honestly say I wouldn’t do something desperate or stupid if I were ever in that situation.
I whinge about my job at the gallery, but it does pay my bills. And if the worst comes to the worst, my father will wire some money from London. He will tut at me and make me feel like a failure, but the money will arrive, and I won’t starve.
I wondered about Katy’s dad. If he were alive and sitting on a beach in some tax haven, or if he had just disappeared, forever, without trace.
Image: Espresso Break, by Connie